Feb
3
i was going to get married but my partner of 4 years now wants a pre nup?
Filed Under Pre Paid Legal
hannah s asked:
we have been together for 4 years and were going to get married next september,now im not sure what to do.He owns 2 flats over here in spain and i dont have any property,however i do help him to pay a lone that he took out to cover legal coasts to buy the flats i also pay half of all bills.What should i do
I do know that i covers both partys but i dont see how ,he owns everything there is nothing in my name i work full time and he works a couple of hours a day.he wants it to read that if we get divorced i can not have anything ,if im with him for 20 years for example how would that be fair
Garfield
we have been together for 4 years and were going to get married next september,now im not sure what to do.He owns 2 flats over here in spain and i dont have any property,however i do help him to pay a lone that he took out to cover legal coasts to buy the flats i also pay half of all bills.What should i do
I do know that i covers both partys but i dont see how ,he owns everything there is nothing in my name i work full time and he works a couple of hours a day.he wants it to read that if we get divorced i can not have anything ,if im with him for 20 years for example how would that be fair
Garfield
Comments
15 Responses to “i was going to get married but my partner of 4 years now wants a pre nup?”
Adelia
Pre-Nup is there to cover both of you in the event!
Personally I would sign it, but then I’m biased as I had MY hubby sign one!
He had no qualms about it..
We both know exactly what to expect should that day ever come, and I don’t forsee it happening!
Just be sure that you get what your rightfully entitled too in that pre-nup and he’s not trying to give you the shaft!
Edit: You are def. getting the shaft!!
I made certain provisions for my husband depending on the # of years married! I also made provisions for housing should the marriage last more than 5yrs, he also gets “alimony” of sorts for 5yrs if the marriage lasted more than 10yrs!
Your not being taken care of and theres no way on this earth that I would sign that!
Abbey
Ask for percentages in the properties and reimbursement of all funds you invested. If he is unwilling to give you any on account of what you have contributed then you should rethink this marriage. There is clearly a trust issue. A marriage without it won’t last. 4 years is a lot less time to give up than a lifetime of heartbreak. He’s protecting his interests and you should protect yours.
Dayle
I think prenups display uncomittment and a sort of selfishness from the start. Hear me out. When you marry, you are comitting to not only the love you feel with each other, but also to dealing with that persons past and problems that may bring to the present. You are comitting to them and what they have, because your intent is to be together forever. If that is the true intent, then there is no reason for a pre-up because you should also be comitted to sharing what you have (good and bad). That is marriage. If you are not comitted to dealing with hardships and sticking through the trials, then of course you do not want that person to have all of you (or your money), because you know you will possibly walk out of the relationship. It’s best to make sure both people are serious enough about marriage and what that means rather than treating it as a test that may not work.
Ludie
If I was getting married and I was richer than my boyfriend, then I would demand a prenup. You might as well have a divorce agreement when the two of you are very much in love, rather then when the two of you decide to divorce and may hate each other. The prenup needs to be fair to you since you pay so many of the bills and you gave him a loan.
Additional details.
I don’t agree with Destiny. You need to legally protect yourself. You never know if the person you are marrying will turn into a bad person.
Response to your additional details.
Have you pointed out to him that you pay half of the bills and you loaned him money for the flat(s)? If he is not going to be reasonable, do not marry this man.
Earnestine
Absolutely. A good pre-nup will protect you both. If his intention is to not split his properties, or give you a % then ask to get back that money you’ve put down on those 2 flats. If you live in his flat with him and you don’t own it then give him a fix amount per month as a rent. This amount should not exceed 25% of your revenue.
ADD: It’s ok to have a pre-nup. We all take life insurance and none of us do it with the intend of dying. It’s not because he wants a pre-nup that he’s not commited.
ADD: Then it’s an unfair prenup. Ask for your money back up front. Pay him a rent nothing more. Don’t pay flat repairs, insurance, renovations etc. That is all his responsibilities from now on. You pay your rent to him then invest in your own assets and make sure they’re under your name only.
Jacque
If the prenuptial agreement is so one sided that it gives you virtually nothing, then don’t sign it. It sounds like you have started an investment with this guy and he’s going to try and shut you out of it if anythig ever happens between you so you can’t claim property rights to the flats.
Eun
First of all no pre nup that is a mistake. Second, ge rid of the bills entirely before getting married big mistake! Third, just be responsible for your own bills not his, that even means his flats or any other legal costs he has. You pay your bills , he pays his trust me on this one. I have been married for 20 years and you would not believe how many fights we have had over money issues. He just does not handle his responsibilities well at all. He has put is through two bankruptcies and that means having a hard time getting a job , if you do not have good credit and they see bankruptcy on your record most people will not hire you. Get out and stay out of debt and no credit cards, that is what started the bankruptcies we could not keep up with the damn credit card bills on top of car insurance and utility payments and yep a car payment also. But ya also have to consider necessities such as food, clothes and shelter . If you go into a marriage with lots of debt it is very hard. NO pre up , that means he does not trust you and what kind of marriage are you going to have without trust? Just say no sir , i will not do that and if that is part of the package that is being offered then i do not want it , take it and cram it.
Hyacinth
Smart Partner!
Drema
Does he “own” the 2 flats (they are paid off) or is he still paying a mortgage on them? If they are “paid off” (he owns them), then you should go ahead and sign the pre-nup.
On the other hand, if he still owes the bank money for these flats, I wouldn’t sign a pre-nup saying they are “his”. Why? Because your income, by virtue of being married, is in fact going towards the payment of those flats. Even if he says ‘I’ll make the payments out of my own pockets”, the simple fact is it’s a bogus arguement because he would be taking “marriage” income and applying it to an asset he is trying to classify as only “HIS”.
Tynisha
You have nothing now, this guy is a loser and you need to dump him. He has zero love for you, no man who loves a woman would ever have her sign her life away with nothing in return should something happen or divorce. Run as far as you can and stop all communication with him, he is a prick.
Tennille
Two ways to go about it.
1. Not sign it.
2. Make him pay for all the bills. You can save your $$ in case something happens.
you are definitely getting the short end of the stick if you are paying 1/2 the bills and get nothing if you divorce . . .
Emmaline
Move on! He is in love with his assets and money more than you.
Teodora
what a prenup does it make any divorce decisions on your own w/o a judge doing this if it happens.
you can make it work for you also.
like..if he cheats he owes you maybe 75% of all assets you both have,for instance.
he owns these properties now,maybe can put in that you have a certain % of value for each year of marriage
he is trying to protect what he has in this lop sided asset that you each bring to the marriage.
nothing wrong with that,but,you need to sit down with a lawyer and decide what you can add to this so that the pre-nup is not completely one sided.
i’m not against pre-nups,just be sure you have something in there for you also,everything is negotiable.
this is not a bout his lack of love for you ,IMO,people plan for the worst al there lives,car insurance,life insurance,bank savings,this is no diff
Freeman
Prenups are with your head, the rest of it is with your heart.
Carlota
you should sign a prenup, but he should pay you back the loan.