Jan
25
Me and my ex-bf have a 2.5 yr old son together. He saw my child on and off but my ex and his mom and mom’s bf haven’t seen him in about 2 months as I was tired of the effect it had on my son. We both live in Ohio btw.
My ex filed for visitation and my pre-trial is on the 15th. I do not want visitation for many reasons (read them below). My son lives with me and my husband who has been around since he was about 16 months old and he’ll be 3 next month. He is in a stable home and seems so much better off than going back and forth like he was to my ex’s plus I’ve had a lot of problems with them.
He is a deadbeat who doesn’t work, he’s a HS dropout, has a history of theft, domestic violence against me and other women, stalking, burgulary, etc. An investigator I talked to showed me video of his mother and her boyfriend driving up and down our road in private property. This scares me with his past that he will try to nab my child, steal from me, come physically hurt me or my husband.
A friend of mine told me to get a restraining order at a domestic violence shelter for my ex and his mother harassing me and other members of my family with letters, emails, text messages, IM’s, etc. I get scared they want to take custody of me so I quit responding to anything. Yet I don’t think his mom’s bf works, or his mom and my ex doesn’t work so not sure how they would support my child anyways. Plus my son hasn’t been there in over 2 months and never mentions my ex’s name (he calls him dada and my husband daddy).
Does getting a restraining order put on him before court do anything with setting up supervised visitation for the child? I don’t want them around my child and I don’t want them involved in his life. I also want to get my son’s name change and possibly adopted so I don’t want them to have visitation with him. He and his mother are mentally unstable and I don’t want his image rubbing off on my son. He is a criminal convicted of many charges, in and out of jail, doesn’t work, never got his GED, and I think my son is too young to be yo-yo’ed back and forth like a toy. Plus him and his mother harass me and my family and much of it is insults about me, my family, my husband, etc.
If I HAVE to have visitation, I would want it to be supervised but the attorney I talked to told me I would have to pay it. Plus I don’t want to drive (me and my ex live 50 miles away) being that he is not paying support and our money is tight as it is.
Does Legal Aid do anything with slander and emotional distress? It’s like a daily headache dealing with the new blog he writes online about me or letter my family gets. It’s like they are trying to tear me and my family apart and hurt my new marriage. This is hard and stressful to me, my family, and my new marriage to deal with this drama along with the responsibility of keeping up a home and family. I don’t want this situation to affect my marriage and family and I think they use my son as an excuse to harass me especially about things involving my personal life which have nothing to do with my parenting.
His mother sent me over 1500 emails, wrote letters to family members locally and out of state, sent postcards degrading me to my mother’s job stating I run a **ore house, etc. (totally untrue btw) as well as threats such as father’s and grandparent rights from both of them. Her bf also calls to pick up my son and I don’t want ANY of them contacting me. My ex already had 3 or 4 restraining orders placed against him-3 from ex’s and one from an ex’s new bf which was dropped, so I am hoping it will be easy to get. Please help!!
How should I word things on the orders and I hope they will not allow visitation to my son. Anyone have any advice or been in a similar situation??
Here is background about my ex and his family:
I had a son who is 2.5 with my ex-bf and I am going through a stressful situation. My ex is a crazy, mentally unstable, high school drop out and I’ve had nothing but problems with him and his family (especially after I found someone else).
They tape record phone calls, video tape you and take pics of your car, home, etc. get background reports on you, etc. I have over 1500 emails or so from my ex’s mother even after me and her son broke up. I want to change my son’s last and middle names (I was stupid and gave him my ex’s last name and part of his 1st and middle in my son’s middle name).
I am now married to a great guy who is a great father to my son. My husband works 7 days a week to support us. I graduated college last summer and work part time looking for a full time job. My ex is convicted of burgulary, menancing by stalking (to the the girl he left me for lol) and felony theft. I was called by a senior special agent (criminal investigations) to talk to him and he showed me video of my ex’s mother and her bf driving up and down our road and I moved 70 miles away from my mom’s house and it’s 50 miles or so from my ex’s with my husband.
My ex isn’t going to change his ways, he’s hardly worked his whole life plus he isn’t stable in women, emotions, opinions, etc. The parenting classes is a good idea. Not sure why I can’t sue for emotional distress. Slander-he is trying to ruin the reputation of me, my family, and the relationships I have with them and my new husband. That is uncalled for and has nothing to do with my son but about them trying to have control. He’s had almost 4 restraining orders on him-so I’m not the 1st.
So I can ask in court for him to reliquence his rights? Hmmm I doubt he will but would love if he would or that the court would decide that
I save all info. like that and I am tired of being harassed. He even calls when I don’t have my son demanding to talk to him and that even when I’m at work-something he knows nothing about-and it’s uncalled for. I need some time away from my son and they must think he is glued to me 24/7.
Arden
Comments
3 Responses to “Visitation Pre-Trial Questions in Ohio, Please Help?”
Leeanne
I would get an restraining order on both you and your child. If you get it for just you, it won’t protect your child.
When you go to court, I would ask the judge to order a “custody investigation” if they don’t do so on their own. I work for child protective services and in our county, the judges/magistrates always order a custody investigation if the parties aren’t in agreement. That investigator will look into both of your families and living situations to make a report for the court.
Eduardo
Nobody here can predict the outcome, but it sounds like you have a good case.
Even so, If he really wants visitation rights and he “changes his ways” he will more than likely be granted them.Your husband will not be able to adopt the child unless your son’s father signs his parental rights away (same for the name change)
Have you ever tried talking to your ex and letting him know that you two need to have a mature relationship for the sake of your son? sounds like him and his family need to grow up!
You will also not be able to sue for emotional distress.
Even if you do file for a restraining order against him for your son, he will still be able to file for visitation.
If things do proceed, request that he take drug tests and parenting classes in order to prove that he is a fit parent.
I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for the best.
Alda
sounds like you have a 97% chance of proving your case in any court. i dealt with the same type of things with my son’s father(domestic violence, theft, stalking). get the restraining order for your family and request that he relinquish all parental rights. also don’t answer their calls or if you do, you should be recording their phone calls to you and record their behavior(stalking), save every email, screen shot every blog, etc. and save it for your records. legal aid helps with a number of things the best thing to do is call, it won’t cost you anything to call them and ask. good luck sweetie and congrats on finding a real man, the two of you will help each other through this.